People are always dreading or complaining about things as a parent and rightfully so because there are quite a few things that deserve the criticism. There are also a few that can be viewed as the glass is half full rather than half empty, so to speak. Read on...
1) Minivans- before kids and while pregnant I swore to myself I'd never drive a minivan. Ever. I'd never be THAT mom. I'd be a hip mom that drove some cute car and looked ever so stylish doing it. 5 years later, I wear yoga pants every day, my hair is in a pony tail 90% of the time and there is a good chance I have dried peanut butter clinging to some piece of my body or clothing. My style has left the waking hours of my children's life. So has the idea of a 'cute car'. I don't drive a minivan (yet) but damn it, I wish I did. I now see those beauties as the Porsche of mommy hood. Automatic doors, built in dvd players, space (all that space!!! Enough to even fit other families in your car so no more car following!). There's tinted windows. No more, "The suns in my eyes mommy! I can't see! It's so hot!" They've got rear view cameras! (wtf they are, I have no idea but my good friend always raves about it so it must be divine.) And the ride is smooth. Like, so quiet, smooth. Adding to the space aspect, if you stick your kids all the way in the back, it's that much less louder in YOUR ears when they scream bloody murder because you aren't 'there yet.' So how do I know about these euphoric vehicles if I don't own one? Because every single mom I know that does RAVES about them. Screw the coach bags friends, get a minivan.
2) Diapers- diapers are stinky and messy. No doubt, they are filled with the most disgusting and vile creations your children will ever produce. Some masterpieces will leave you wondering what on God's green earth your child ate and who the hell gave it to them. But here's the thing about diapers. Once you change them and dispose of them, they're gone. The smell disappears with them. My oldest has been potty trained for 2 years now and while I felt amazing about his accomplishment, I've spent the last two years waiting for his accurate aim and independent butt wiping accomplishment to celebrate as well. The truth is, there is not enough bleach or air freshener in the world, to rid the scent of urine out of my bathroom. I now clean his bathroom everyday. Yes, HIS bathroom. He is limited to using one because with three bathrooms in this house I cannot keep up with cleaning each one, every day. My point? Enjoy the diapers and easy disposal while they last because pretty soon your bathroom is going to smell like a never ending waterfall of pee. (Parents with little girls, this may be different for you... God I hope it is for your own sanity's sake.)
3) Annoying children shows- the first time I saw 'Yo Gabba Gabba', I desperately wanted to change the channel but I couldn't because we were at a friends house. Dj Lance wears an orange, shiny leotard that no self respecting grown adult should ever parade around in, million dollar making or not. There are dancing little monster thingies that sing the most annoying songs I've ever heard. ("There's a party in my tummy, oh so yummy, oh so yummy.") Their speech is elongated and pitchy, which drives me batty. ("I'mmmmmmmm sssssaaaaadddd"). I could go on and on about how mind numbing this was for me as parent but something happened... My kids were quiet. They were still. They were engaged. They were eating this orange, leotard wearing, sorry sap, right the eff up. My friend and I actually had a conversation uninterrupted. It got me to thinking when I was home about the possibilities if I put it on my own tv. Could I load the dish washer with out the littlest one closing the door before I'm ready? Could I fold laundry with out piles getting knocked over? Could I drop a deuce of my own with out an audience? YES!! YES!!! I could!!!!! Praise Jesus! No!! Praise DJ Lance and his beautiful, no longer creepy but rather spectacular dancing and singing monsters!!! Learn to tune out the annoying and embrace the crazy. Make it work for you. Before you know it, you'll be singing the ridiculous, lovely songs along with your kids.
4) Chucky cheese or other kid populated venues- these places smell like stinky feet and/or sweat. They are loud. Ears numbing loud. Children are screaming at the top of their lungs with excitement. They're unsupervised by their chaperones. They might even bump into your kid and not even stop to apologize. It's devastatingly annoying BUT your littles will love it and have a blast. It's so worth it. They'll run around, laugh uncontrollably, scream with happiness and cry when it's time to go because they are exhausted. Utterly. They will play and play until they literally can't play anymore. They arrive little balls of bouncy energy and leave beautiful, wilted flowers ready for the most sound nap, or, even better, bed time. The bed time routine is smooth like butter (unless they're overtired and screaming banshees, in which case I just throw mine in bed and call it a night). They fall asleep and stay asleep. No, "One more thing Mommy. Can I have water?" No, "There's a night monster in my closet!" Just sweet and simple good night, don't let the bed bugs bite. It's a beautiful, wonderful thing... Which leads me to number five....
5) Bed sharing. A common complaint about the idea of letting your kids come into your bed is that it's going to socially damage them. It's not. Really. (If your kid is 20 and still sleeping in your bed, there might be a problem. But cut that habit out by 19 and you're golden. I kid, I kid.) Once they're asleep, provided they aren't sleeping in your arms or some other weird way to possibly paralyze you the following day, it's seriously fabulous. I love my children MOST when they're asleep. There. I said it. Go and judge me if you want but secretly (or not so secretly) I know we all feel the same. Here's why- with the everyday hustle and bustle between meals, shitty diapers, getting to preschool, speech sessions, shitty diapers, swimming lessons, play dates, shitty diapers, soccer, arts and crafts, tubby time, (did I mention shitty diapers?), food shopping, work or school of your own... It's easy to blink and not realize your littles are growing right before your eyes. When my boys are asleep in my bed, I get completely lost in their cuddles, their sweet snores, watching them smile through a good dream like they did as babies before they could even talk. When they're sleeping they are still, peaceful and so innocent. With their eyes closed, they some how look so different. I lose myself in nostalgia thinking how these cuddles won't last forever, wondering what they'll be when they grow up. Carpenter? Sailor like daddy was? Maybe a teacher like mommy? Who knows. They're only little like this for so long. Snuggle, let them into your bed sometimes or all the time. Enjoy it now because before we know it, they'll be too big to want, or even fit, in bed with us.
Thank you to everyone for stopping in. This is my first blog post and I really have no idea what I'm doing. My husband, biggest cheerleader, has been urging me to do this for a couple of years. I finally got the gonads. This one is for you August, ku'u'aloha.